Sorry about the large text that is just how it copies over and I can't make it smaller.
It all started by a riverbank where
several boys were in the process of trying to catch fish, some used spears
while others tried their skills with arrows but one young man was knee deep a
little further out attempting to catch one with his hands because he was eager
to prove to himself and some others that he could do it. The element of danger
here was the force of the rivers current and all the rocks in and around the
river itself. One wrong move and he could find himself smashed up against them
and in a lot of pain.
"Two bears will see you" one
of the younger boys shouted from shore
"he does not see me now and by the
time he does I will have caught a fat fish" the boy in the water replied.
Two bears was his older brother and had warned him never to go into the river
more than once but he seemed somehow to always be testing the limits and this
time he failed.
He moved ever so slightly to try and
catch one that was swimming by and lost his footing suddenly being swept off
the rock he had been standing on and trying to keep his head above water. The
boys on the shore could be heard shouting but their voices soon faded and he
was fighting a loosing battle both to keep his head above water and not to be
swept out to the middle of the river. He tried to grab onto anything from rocks
to roots or wood but only got scratched up for his efforts and continued the
journey down the river. After a few minutes he heard a splash and someone
calling his name but he was only pushed further down the river unaware of what
was happening until finally he was turned skyward and his leg became wedged
between two rocks. He prayed then finally of a concious enough mind to do so
and held his head up so that he could keep breathing. It didn't keep the water
from going into his ears and soon it was hard to hear anything at all letalone
keep from passing out. The only thing he remembered after that were more voices
and sudden blackness taking over.
When he came to he was on the shoreline
with his older brother Catches Rain standing over him but could hear the sound
of women wailing, more specifically his own mother screaming Two Bears name
over and over along with Two Bears wife. What had happened he thought suddenly
trying to sit up and succumbing to a spinning sensation in his head that forced
him to lay back down. He realized at almost the same time that his leg hurt
with the kind of intense pain that made him want to scream out but he wouldn't.
"what happened to Two Bears"
he asked Catches Rain that stood over him weakly
"we will not speak of it"
Catches Rain answered and the young man didn't need to know any more. Two Bears
was most certainly gone from this earth and he was at fault for it.
The realization of it almost killed him
and he almost died right there. He had ignored his eldest brother and now their
mother was without a son and Two Bears wife was without a husband.
Catches Rain picked him up and carried
him to a lodge where his injuries were tended to and his leg imobilized. He was
given something for pain that caused him to sleep and he spent the next few
days like that until wet rawhide was wrapped around his leg and he was able to
get around by either hobbling or the use of a good sized stick. He did not
return to his parents lodge but went off on his own into the trees on one side
of the village and beyond. No one saw him for weeks afterward and his own
mother began to worry that she had lost another son when she sent men to search
for him and they could not find him.
They knew he had returned when one of
the young man's father's horses was discovered missing one morning but they
again could not find him and his mother's heart was broken.
No one could have taken the ordeal any
harder than the young man however and it was his wish to atone for his
brother's life but didn't feel anything he could do would be enough except
maybe to give up his own life so he set of with nothing more than a water pouch
and a knife allowing Maheo to take his life in any way that he saw fit.
He was on the verge of starvation and
severe dehydration ready to just drop from the horse and let things happen as
they would when he came upon a group of five riders with a man who was the age
of his own father at the head.
"just kill me" he pleaded
The man was slightly confused "you
are Cheyenne, we have no war with you"
"let me leave this world" the
young man pleaded again before dizziness overtook him and he finally dropped to
the ground.
One of the younger men jumped from his
horse and ran over to check on the young man and was instantly concerned.
"he must be cooled he is too
hot"
They took the young man to a stream and
set him in the water careful not to get the cast on his leg wet then at the
older man's instruction took him home with them.
The young man awoke fully two days later
coughing and sitting up only to find himself inside a lodge and the man he had
seen out on the prarie sitting on the other side. His hair was greying and he
wore it in two braids and despite the heat he was dressed in a long sleeved
shirt and leggings. He appeared to be cooking something but it wasn't food.
"you have not tended your wounds
very well" the man said indicating a deep gash on his arm that had
reddened considerably and was in obvious need of attention. "but perhaps
it was your intention to let it become worse until it killed you. That is no
way to die, there is no honor in it"
The young man offered no response, what
could he say? As soon as he was well enough he would leave and continue his
journey.
"you will not leave" the older
man said as if reading his thoughts "tell me you do not have a family that
worries over you and do not act as though you have no tongue inside that head
of yours"
"I have done something
terrible" the young man finally admited "my family does not need such
a son"
The older man looked up at him then,
concerned. "it was your decision that in return for this terrible thing
that you must give up your own life? You are certain that this is what Maheo
has intended for you? Did you even ask"
It hadn't truly occured to the young man
until that moment that even though this man was dressed as a Lakota man that he
spoke very good Cheyenne and was apparently familiar with the Cheyenne ways.
"I did not ask" The young man
finally admitted
"how are you called?" the man
asked
"I give up my name" the young
man said
"Then I will call you runs far and
I am called Walking into the sun"
Walking into the sun stood then bringing
over a large leaf that had a poultice on it and placed it on Runs Far's arm
holding it there then tying it in place with a piece of hide. He then placed
the same poultice on every other injury on Runs Far's young body.
It is best if you sleep now, your body
will still need time to heal Walking into the sun told him then left the lodge.
Runs Far lay back down but found it very hard to sleep. He thought of his
family knowing that they would blame him for the death of his eldest brother
and rightly so but also worried about them wondering how they were coping even
his eldest brothers wife and their two young children. Did they think that he
was dead?
He wished for it even now despite
everything that Walking into the sun had said and had to decide now just what
it was he was going to do.
After three days the wound on his arm
had begun to heal quite well and he was feeling much better. He was growing
tired of being cooped up in the lodge and seeing Walking into the sun only
occasionaly. He stepped outside and walked beyond the boundaries of the
encampment to sit at the edge of a small pond and just think. Had Maheo brought
him here for some reason? He had committed what was in his mind an
unforgiveable act, one that he would never be able to make up for. No longer
was he the boy eager to prove that he was just as strong and skilled as his
older brothers nor was he a man
"have you forgotten how to
live?" Walking into the sun asked
"the life I had is gone" Runs
Far answered plainly
"that may be but you cannot stay
where you are now"
Runs Far didn't really want to hear
that. To simply get up and live life again would mean that his brother's death
meant nothing. It would mean that he thought very little of the stupid thing he
had done.
"do you think he does not know Runs
Far?" Walking into the sun asked "it cannot be undone"
Runs Far turned around and looked at
Walking into the sun, How had he known what happened?
"I will not go back" Runs Far
told him worried that his uncles and any other Cheyenne men might have come
here looking for him.
"then you stay here"
Runs Far looked back at the Lakota
encampment. He didn't speak the language at all or know anyone here but perhaps
this would be as good a punishment as any. They would not go easy on him both
because he was still young and because he was not Lakota but if they allowed it
perhaps he could make a life here.
And he did. Walking into the sun took
him in but expected much and taught him much. Runs Far learned the language and
eventually took on the apearance of a Lakota man but was aloof most of the time
and would not allow anyone to become too close of a friend. There were those
that held it against him but he didn't really care and went on to seek a
vision. After several nights and days of praying, fasting and trying to listen
a dream came to him wherein a red hawk came down close to his face and spoke
with enough force that he had to listen
"you are Cheyenne" The Hawk
spoke then flew away
Runs far woke up the next morning a
little puzzled at the dream. Of course he was Cheyenne, he already knew that.
"he next night he dreamed of the
red hawk again who looked at him like what he had said the previous night
should have meant something.
"you are Cheyenne" The hawk
said again
"I don't understand what you
mean" Runs Far said hoping to get the Hawk to say more but it did not
happen.
He dreamt of the hawk for a third night
and it said the same as it had on the first two nights but on the fourth night
there was no dream and he took that as a sign that he should go back.
Runs far explained the dreams to Walking
into the sun who instantly looked troubled then resolved.
"you must return to your
people" he said plainly "and you are no longer called Runs Far, you
are Red Hawk"
Red Hawk did not like this at all. He
had been among the Lakota for twelve years and they had treated him well. Among
his own people he would surely be known as the one who killed his brother and
he wasn't at all sure what kind of reception he would get from them. There was
no arguing with a vision though and he made ready to leave within a day.
He took his best horse, a white mare,
his weapons and what little clothing he had and left the Lakota with a heavy
heart praying that if Maheo meant for him to return that he would be able to
find his people. He also knew that a man journeying alone could make a very
good target and prayed for protection. For the first few days he saw no one nor
any animals but did not have any trouble finding water and had a supply of food
with him that had been given to him by an older Lakota woman. He found and
followed a river that headed east then turned north and made careful to stay
clear of any well used trails. He'd been out for several weeks when he spotted
three riders off in the distance and realized they were Cheyenne. He followed
at a distance knowing that they would eventually know he was behind them but
there was no turning back and he expected to be challenged the closer he got.
It was not suprising at all to discover that someone was coming up from behind
him and drawing rapidly closer to get a good look at him.
"you are far from home Lakota
man" The one behind him spoke
"I have come to find my
people" Red Hawk replied suddenly finding himself side by side with his
own brother Catches Rain who looked as though he had been struck with rock.
"you steal my brother's face"
he accused refusing to believe that Red Hawk was actually alive
"I am not dead Catches Rain"
Red Hawk replied
It was then he realized that he was
surrounded and that he was obviously closer to the Cheyenne than he had
thought.
He was brought immediatley to see his
own father who said nothing for a long time.
"for many seasons your mother
believed you were lost to the earth. She lost two sons that day and it broke
her heart"
"I wanted to die, but Maheo would
not allow it" Red Hawk spoke plainly knowing that it wouldn't be hard for
his father to see where he had actually been all these years. He still wore the
clothes of a Lakota man but because Walking into the sun had refused to speak
Lakota with him he still understood his native language.
"Perhaps Maheo wanted you to come
home and face what you had done"
Red Hawk had already considered that
possibility, many times. Perhaps that is why he was here now.
"I killed my brother, such a thing
can never be forgiven" And in truth it took many years for him to learn to
forgive himself.
"Have you not punished yourself
enough Red Hawk?"
Red Hawk knew then that his father knew
everything
"It will never be enough" Red
Hawk answered
"go find your mother, she needs to
see your face" his father said
Red Hawk left his fathers lodge wondering
exactly why Maheo had sent him back here but also knowing that he would have to
be patient. Answers didn't always come at the time they were requested.
He found his mother down by the river
catching water in a bowl but didn't exactly know how to approach her. He had
never meant to hurt her and that was one of the many things that had weighed
heavy on his heart all these years.
She saw him but made no move to draw
closer so he walked to her.
"sit down, we have many words to
speak" She said simply
Out of respect he did as instructed
waiting for her to say something.
"I was only blessed with three sons
and you came much later than the other two. We were not expecting you but I
think Maheo had other intentions for us." she began then paused looking at
him, almost studying his face. "you are not fed well, you need to
eat" she continued
Red Hawk knew that he was a little on
the skinny side and knew much of it came from that time twelve years ago when
he had nearly starved himself to death. He had never eaten much since then and
always gave much of what he obtained by hunting to those who needed it.
"Red Hawk please do not do this to
yourself" She pleaded "Maheo has a purpose in everything he does, he
spared your life and brought you home. Perhaps you should learn what it is that
he would have you do"
She stood then laying a hand on his
shoulder as she walked by but he remained there by the river. The same river
that had taken his brothers life.
She was right, she was very right. Maheo
had told him through a messenger to return now he needed to understand why.
He stayed right there by the river for
most of the rest of the day thinking and came to realize that he'd been so busy
trying to make ammends by punishing himself and had also worried about the
impact all of this was having on both his parents and brother. But he had
thought very little of what Two Bears would have to say or what he wanted.
There had been many times when Walks into the sun had spoken of his brother but
he had ignored it and pushed it away.
He spent the next several days off on
his own making a long spear that he would use for catching fish and making more
arrows so that he could go hunting. It was something he had become proficient
at over the years and could do well.
He had been out long enough so that he
knew what animals came through a particular area and had set his sights on a
big buck, watching it for a few days and then tracking it. He would have to use
at least two arrows and hit hard enough with his first arrow to do enough
damage so that it could not run off.
He suddenly felt as though he were being
watched and turned his head to see Two Bears standing amongst the trees not far
away but did not move. He didn't really know what to do.
"how much longer will you close
your ears to my words?"
Red Hawk was simply stunned and really
didn't know what to answer to that. He'd pushed any and all thoughts of his
brother away for so long and in truth had forgotten what Two Bears looked like.
"It was I who called you home yet
you continue to pretend like no people exist here"
"it was better that they believed I
was dead. I wanted to be dead"
"causing your own death would not
bring me home, you have always had a purpose here but you run away from
it"
At this point Red Hawk was ready to do
whatever was required of him, he had been ready since he'd seen the hawk in his
vision.
"go find a buffalo, and bring it to
my wife"
Red Hawk knew there would be no further
instructions, he would not be allowed to ask any questions. He was just to do
what Two Bears had told him to do.
He returned to his parent's lodge and
spent several days preparing for the journey he would have to take. When he was
ready to leave Catches Rain appeared with his own horse as well as another man
that Red Hawk did not readily recognize. He did not question why they were
acompanying him but realized that his father must have known what he had to do.
They searched for days
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